Fridge Quote Rediscovered . . .

"Charity is, perhaps, in many ways a misunderstood word. We often equate charity with visiting the sick, taking in casseroles to those in need, or sharing our excess with those who are less fortunate. But really, true charity is much, much more.

Real charity is not something you give away; it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again. It makes the thought of being a basher repulsive.

Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and
shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being
willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.

None of us need one more person bashing or pointing out where we have failed or fallen short. Most of us are already well aware of the areas in which we are weak. What each of us does need is family, friends, employers, and brothers and sisters who support us, who have the patience to teach us, who believe in us, and who believe we’re trying to do the best we can, in spite of our weaknesses. What ever happened to giving each other the benefit of the doubt? What ever happened to hoping that another person would succeed or achieve? What ever happened to rooting for each other? "

(Marvin J. Ashton. "The Tongue Can Be a Sharp Sword," Ensign, May 1992, 19.)


The orange section of the above is a quote I have had on my fridge since 2004. When we moved, it got packed away. As I unpacked here in our home, I placed it on the side of the fridge. Just a few days ago, I moved it back to the front of the fridge after refreshing my mind of the quote and realizing I need work in the area of charity!

The red section, is part of the article on both sides of the quote . . . I rediscovered them as I searched for the talk to avoid having to retype the entire quote! I thought they were of importance to understanding what CHARITY really is and how to apply charity!

I have to say, I often think of CHARITY as the thing I give away to others, not the actions I take in thought and speech, or the way I treat people or their weaknesses!! PERSONAL Story . . .

We have a sister in our ward who recently lost her spouse. It presented an opportunity to provide a meal for her. The time wasn't necessarily convenient for me to be taking the meal, we had plans as a family, but I did! And can I repent publicly for my thoughts! I thought the entire time, "I am so glad I am willing to adjust my schedule to do this for her. This is being charitable, I am glad I am taking this opportunity to be charitable. It feels good to serve." Let's all be honest, I was being charitable, but that form of charity comes VERY EASY to most of us. It is not difficult for me to serve when I know there is a need for it and it is more of a physical service. I think that is probably a description that may fit most of us.

However, I struggle with the form of charity that becomes part of my character that I don't give away as a physical act! I believe I am a little better than I once was, especially if I feel someone is being judged, I try to find another reason for them to be the way they are and pass that on. Yet, I do struggle in giving family the benefit of the doubt. I need to work on the keeping quiet at times or having patience with someone who has let us down. I especially struggle with the PATIENCE WHEN SOMEONE HAS LET ME DOWN!! I want them to know how hurt, inconvenienced, and upset I am. I really need to work on saying to myself, "You know, they did the best they could, it is OK."

My Mom returned from Hong Kong with a saying that her "supervisor" said often, "It doesn't effect my salvation." She applies it anytime something isn't right. Honestly, I love it! If it DOESN'T EFFECT my SALVATION, remain QUIET, resist taking offense!! I think often we are all too busy worrying about what others are doing, judging others, and what they may or may not be doing properly. We are too busy pointing out where they have made their mistakes . . . when really, DOES IT EFFECT YOUR SALVATION??? If it doesn't effect your salvation, you should be of no concern of the mistakes of others and only pour forth love to them!!

I would think I would be a PERFECT at this charity through kindness, love, never judging, categorizing, pointing out weaknesses, and the such because of the FAMILY and FRIENDS I have around me who are wonderful at it!! I have so many SUPPORTERS that surround me and often do not agree with my choices, but love me all the same. I have a few who can loving point out a short coming, but it is because they love me and never pass judgement as they do it! They are ever patient with me as I am so VERY MUCH IMPERFECT!! They expect the best of me, but love me all the same when I fail. They don't rub in my failings, but lift me up and encourage me! I have so many family and friends who are WONDERFUL examples of CHARITY in the form of letting it BECOME THEIR CHARACTER!! Thank you to each of them! They all may show their charity towards me in a way that touches me and teaches me!! I would name names, but I am afraid I may forget someone in my attempt!! But, they know who they are, they know how much I appreciate their love, support, friendship, and concern!!

I just hope that I may become more able to allow CHARITY to be part of my CHARACTER! I hope to be able to remain quiet, no judge, never categorize others! I hope to never point out someones weakness or shortcomings, remain patient when let down, and be more loving toward others and their weaknesses!!

CHARITY is EXPECTING THE BEST of EACH OTHER, but LOVING EACH OTHER all the same when we FALL SHORT!!